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9-19-19 Woke at 0735 with 4 hours of sleep and a bit groggy...... SSS and a coffee......... PAT: So much here...... Yesterday was terrible for me. I made a couple bad trades in a row and went into a tail spin when one of my good setups didn't work out as good as I wanted it to......... Get back to my sticky notes and journal....... I need to get back to my ORB setups with clear confirmation of an ABCD.............. After three loosing trades I need to walk away or journal MSFT........ I took 4 separate trades and on this review I realize I was trading my P&L by getting out too early on these trades and then reentering when I have clear confirmation again. This should have been one trade with less partials after the first three and add ins or just hold from there. I am happy with overall trades it just could have been a larger win if I would not have been thinking about yesterday still..... I also took too small of share size which also cost me...... first...... 1min ORB (A setup) with a .10 stop I was in 2/5 of a position..... The first two partials are the top two and all out on the bottom partial all in the 2nd 1min candle........... +27.76 second...... 2min ORB (A setup) with a .20 stop this time I still took 2/5 position.......... partial and all out way too early ......... +6.25 third....... 5min ORB with ABCD on 1min.......... I took full size here with a .30 stop took a partial and all out yet again before my stop...... +28.00 fourth............ PB#3....... Trend with bounce of 9ma on 1min and no new low on 5 or 15min........... took full size with a .30 stop....... took partials at key Rs and all out once I made a solid new 5 and 15min low......... +65.53 I know this is a could of would have should have but If I took proper share size from the beginning and kept to my normal stop losses with partials this should have been a 400+ trade +127.53 SNAP........ PB#2 (I feel this is an A setup but nervous from my many VWAP plays that have not been working out), took very small share size.... 4/1 projeccted .05/.20.... Below stop below VWAP and target 20ma..... actual was 4/1..... partial 50% at a little less than target, 50% a little above target and then all out....... +39.00 HUYA ....... Popped up on Turbo scanner...... PB#3 (A setup) without a great entry so I adjusted my size for the stop of .10.... ended up missing my target by .02 and price action changed so I got out with a small profit..... I should have partialed at 1R as I usually do.... +25.00 WLL ..... PB#2 (B setup) took 1/2 size...... tight stop of .05 and target of 9.25 for .22 below the VWAP and at a daily level...... I partialed at 1R then a smaller partial at 1.5R, moved stop to 9.10 a daily level and bottom of the new ABCD on the 2min .... all out on a SPY Spike which this followed.... +51.22 Cons: I took way too small of share sizes on setups I knew were good with little risk because I was nervous about yesterday and on the same note I got out of trades with MSFT which should have been one big trade....... Pros: I did have a much more clear picture in my head when I took these trades as what I expect if it went south or my way, I just let fear govern my fingers...... Favorite trade for Playbook: MSFT as on trade....... R = 50.00: +242.75

18Sep19 Green day. +1r. Kept it light today, as I am back after 3 weeks. Just one trade on $FDX. Watchlist: $FDX, $ROKU, $CHWY, $GIS. Trade1: $FDX. Gapped down due to earnings. Stock was selling off till the open. It offered the Rising Devil setup at the open. I took an entry after confirmation and got out at 2r.

September 19, 2019 - Nothing I decided to trade live, but didn't find anything to trade. Nothing really met my pre-market scanner criteria, especially when $AMD only had 70,000 shares in the premarket at 5:30. I ended up with $MU and $X. I really don’t like SSR stocks at the open. I almost got short $MU at the open but it didn’t come all the way back to VWAP and I wanted it to test the 20 EMA before attempting to short it as it was really near a breakout point at 51.40. Sat the rest of the morning looking for a trade until having to go to work. Didn’t find anything. I didn’t think I would be able to trade the afternoon, as I had a meeting through lunch, but lucky for me it got canceled. Had some hotkey issues with trying to get into $SQ. I would have gotten a 1R out of and stopped out at B/E, but still would have been happy with the trade. Sample Set Results, P S S E 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Hey Vikram, glad to see you back.

Thursday 9/19/2019 I had a well-being score of 6/10 this morning. Little bit of a scratchy throat. Kids are sick, so probably fighting off what they have. I took 2 live trades this morning, with AAPL and BABA. It is interesting to see this month and especially today that just minor nuisances can separate you from being consistently profitable and being flat. I control my risk. I keep to my stops and choose appropriate stops. I am usually very accurate with share size. I have been pretty good lately trading good setups and getting good entries. I have tried to focus on the process, I haven’t looked at my P/L all month. But, I have been flat for over 7 months and I can tell, without looking at my P/L, I am flat so far this month. I just need to improve on the trade management. Psychology of course is preventing me to perform the correct management. I have two major issues: 1. It’s difficult to admit that I am wrong a. So I take partial profits to early and often. Thus locking in a win. b. I don’t bail out of trades quickly with terrible fills (R/R is destroyed). Can’t admit I am wrong until I hit my stop. 2. Self sabotaging a. Do you realize how difficult it is to remain exactly flat for over 7 months? It must be unconsciously controlled. b. If I see 4 good days of trading and it’s all given back on Friday c. If I see I am very green after 3 weeks and give it all back on the last week d. The one month I was actually green (+5.6R) I had to trick myself by suddenly choosing to stop trading the last two days of the month to lock in the green month e. Guess what, the next month after my green month was my first red month since January. Guess how red? -5.8R essentially cancelling out the previous month keeping me amazingly walking exactly on a tightrope of being flat. The journaling of today will read the same story. So finally, the setup that I have been waiting for the past two weeks, with BABA finally arrives. In the PM the price breaks through the resistance level creating a huge wedge on the daily chart. I was REALLY long bias on BABA today. Any sign in the long direction and I was going long with BABA. BABA almost immediately created a small hammer with large volume, a few seconds after the open and I went long. Since it was so soon after the open I kept a reasonably large stop at the 180.41 daily level. There was no target. All tech levels were no below the price. The price moved up a little bit and I took 2 very small partials. The price dropped to test VWAP again and stopped at B/E. there was some slippage so I think this trade was a small loss. Stopping at B/E is in my trading plan now. I was giving my stops some room, if there was a strong tech level below it, but after collecting data for awhile it was deemed unprofitable. Now I try to keep the stop tight on B/E. The price bounced and I could have gone long again. I am not sure why I didn’t. I guess self-sabotage. I missed a 7R move. Later, after my AAPL trade, I took a 5min ORBU with BABA in SIM. I am allowed to take a 3rd trade live now, once certain criteria is met. So I could have taken it live. I have a post it note on my screen reminding me of this. I read my daily trading plan a minute before the open to remind me. So did I do it? Nope forgot again….. I told myself it was too bad I am at my limit of two live trades and I took it SIM. I had a long bias with AAPL today as well. I like that it created a hammer on the daily chart with the PM price movement. I liked it was opening just under PDC. I went long on a 2min ORBU when it broke the 50MA-1min and the HOTD. My stop was tight, so I took a lot of shares. Stop was at the 222.39 daily level and my target was the 223.04 daily level. I took 3 partials, all really small. The plan is always take a substantial profit (at least half the shares) if the target is reached. I didn’t and took another small partial at the target. The price dropped quickly after that. I also planned to start taking partials on the way down as well. I didn’t. And with a majority of shares still left the price shot through my B/E for another small loss. Score card (live trades). It is surprising to see how high the score is on BABA trade since it was such a disappointing trade. But, the real mistake was not entering a new trade after the S/O. BABA AAPL 95% 87% What I did good today: Recognized good setups and entered the trade right on time. What I am grateful from today? Seeing the bright side, that I am almost there. Just need to get over this last hurdle. What do I need to improve on: 1) Need to get use to keep partialing as you lose faith in the trade. I seem to always want to take partial profit only on a new high. 2) Remember you are allowed to take 3 trades if the criteria is met. Don’t forget! 3) Take a large partial at the target. Don’t forget. 4) Deal with the self-sabotage 5) A losing trade doesn’t mean you were wrong. It was a statistical setup with proper risk.

19 september 2019 X trade 1 My first trade was on $X. I am trying out a new strategy. It is a 5 minute opening range breakout in combination with a V pattern move on the 1 minute. I see this move happen regularly. Gave this a shot and took a partial at 1:1 on a daily level. After that it squeezed up and got stopped out break even by the penny. Otherwise it would have been a nice 2:1 move. X trade 2 I made another trade on X, a descending wedge play. Now after reviewing it I realized it was not a good trade. On all the time frames were actually bullish signs instead of bearish signs. It had 5 higher highs on the 1 minute, on the 5 minute it engulfed and on the 15 minute it had formed a hammer. WLL I made another descending wedge trade on WLL. This stock was trending down the whole hour. I entered on a new 5 minute low. Not a bad setup, but unfortunately got an unlucky stop out by the penny. Otherwise it would have been really good move. Still happy I took this trade. MSFT Played a ascending wedge here. The same case as X trade 2 here. After reviewing it I realized it showed some bearish signs. It did move in my way, but was going for the HOD and it didn’t touch that. Not the best setup on MSFT. Ended this day with -2.5R. I’m down -4.5R now on the month.

Sold half of half over 140 and still holding balance.

19 Sep 2019 Today I started really late (11:30pm SG Time) and thinking to practise my trade. I took a losing trade on MSFT. I saw 2 and 5 min chart where it is sitting on WWAP, where it act as a support. The trade went against me and I got stopped out. I guess I am too tired physically to focus. The trading volume is actually decreasing and I shouldn't went long for this trade.

Jeez, yesterday 9-18-19, was so bad for me also..... We will return to green today....... Good luck buddy.....

Look at MSFT premarket!! Still holding half!!

You are not the only one that let emotions get in the way today.

Journaling is the best tool for learning what works and what does not work. Do not forget to review your journal at the end of each week. I have found many times that I found something to tweak during my weekly reviews of all my trades that I completely missed the day I was journaling. I highly recommend making sure you have a solid risk to reward plan and can manage stopping out before going live. It will only help you preserve your capital during the learning curve.

I trade $AMD a lot. If it does not have around 800,000 shares in the pre-market by the open it is not worth watching. If it has around 450,000 a hour before the open I consider it if I have nothing else.

Day 5 in sim I have not been keeping up with my journaling, mostly because I am spending so much of my time learning. I have had mostly losses in my first week of sim trading, but I am learning so much. Today was actually my first green day. Hurrah! In addition to all of the things I am learning in the chat and trade reviews, I am having the real advantage of getting to know what I don't know. After several tries and fails at catching a good trend trade, I got amazing input about studying price action, volume and T&S. Alastair recommended this video and it really helped. I am posting here as a reminder to myself. www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqCSHYpMxTI I had a few good moves today - the market has been waiting all week for the Fed announcement and so things have been unpredictable. Today my first set of trades came after 2PM with the Fed talks. I have the next one on my calendar to see if I can do this again. I noticed that after the morning volume died down, both DUST and NUGT were forming a triangle or pennant pattern of some sort -- same pattern mirrors of one another as they always are. I thought that when the Fed announcement kicked in, and the market responded, they would break one way and the other. I would pick the one going long and then use the other things I am learning to make my trades. Used price action, T&S, and lots of MA's and did really pretty well. I traded mostly DUST, since it was the winner. I took a trade on NUGT too -- I closed out my second right away so I could pay attention to the chat room. After NUGT /DUST wave of activity moved out of my comfort level, I looked for another opportunity since I thought some of the selling off from earlier in the day might bring a reversal. I saw AAPL on my watch list (as always) moved from red to green. When I looked I saw bullish candlesticks, price had crossed VWAP and 9 had crossed 20 on several time frames. Harmonious chart with support below on 2, 5 and 15, little to no resistance above. I was happy with this trade. What I did not do well was come in with a plan for my RR or share size, or any of that, but I have to practice one thing at a time before I put them all together What I did not do well was come in with a plan for my RR or share size, or any of that, but I have to practice one thing at a time before I put them all together NEXT: 1.Learn how to submit my trades for review with the format provided. 2.Find a better journaling tool (not tradervue) 3. Study more on T&S and set my parameters correctly. 4. Set levels before market open

> I just don’t get it. Very simple, it's FOMC week, all big traders waited for Powell this week. Tomorrow will be better, you will see. Keep this in mind for the next FOMC.

18/9/19 okay day again today, similar to yesterday with 7 small losers and 1 big winner at the end bringing me to b/e. 9 trades : 1 winner (VWAP hold) 8 losers (ORB, Trade 1: 5 min ORB waited more patiently than usual for a good sized pullback and confirmation but still no dice. Trade 2: saw a double hammer on the 5 min chart so went long for a reversal but roku was too weak today. Trade 3: looked like an ascending triangle pressed against resistance but didnt have the juice and rejected VWAP. Trade 4: ascending triangle again but had no pop. Trade 5: this broke through VWAP strongly and then help so i went long but it lost it with a vengeance so stopped out. Trade 7: reversals are not my forte i must say. double top, big rejection on the 1 min so went long, stopped out. Trade 8: looked like it was breaking out of this pendant with some volume but just could no break 149.75, mustve been a hidden seller there... eventually it broke down. Trade 9: strong rejection at LOD, came above VWAP and held so i went long, it came back tested again and had a strong rejection so i added and then rode it up to the HOD partialling at resistance levels. this made up all my lossed pretty much. same good trade as yesterday. this is my first A1 setup.

Today got a little bit late home from work. But it didn’t got me stressed and prepared well for trading. Trades OSTK The stock was gapping down on the daily chart. In the first minutes of the opening it formed a flat bottom on the 1 minute chart. I saw it was down trending on all the time frames and under all the moving averages (harmonious chart). I got in when the 5 minute opening range breakdown occurred. On the way down it found another flat wedge bottom. I wanted to partial but got accidently got all out. At the time I saw it was forming another wedge I re-entered and took a partial at the daily level of 16. The rest I got out at a squeeze above break down. This was a awesome setup. This moves should happen every day. MU trade 1 Tis trade was a descending wedge play in combination with a 10 minute ORBD. I did partial early in this trade (not even 1:1). Because it had already made a big move. My original target was the daily level at 49.93 but it never touched it and got out above the 20 EMA on the 1 minute chart. MU trade 2 At this point I saw that MU was down trending on the 1, 5 and 15 minute chart. I got in at the second touch of the wedge (should have been the third). It dropped a little bit but got bought up quickly after the drops. I didn’t like the price action and got out at break even. CHWY CHWY gapped down on the daily chart. On the 1 minute it did a false VWAP breakout. On the 5 minute it did kind of a reversed ABCD. And it was forming a descending wedge below VWAP and all the moving averages. I was happy with this trade, but it unfortunately didn’t work out. ADBE This wasn’t a wedge play. It looked like a false VWAP breakout. The stock also engulfed on the 5 minute. I decided to take it short below VWAP and under all the ma’s. my target here was LOD and my stop was the break of VWAP and the 20 EMA. ROKU ROKU was making a reversed ABCD on the 15 minute chart. On the 1 minute it made a descending wedge and on the 5 minute it had started a downtrend. My entry was at the flat bottom of the wedge, wich was also a new 5 minute and 15 minute new low. After a couple minutes it made a huge drop and covered along the way down. This was a great setup. Today I ended at daily goal. My winning trades on OSTK an ROKU were awesome plays. I managed my risk well on the other trades which got at +3R. Finally after a 6 day losing streak a good day in the books.

Wednesday 9/18/2019 I had a well-being score of 7/10 this morning. I took 2 live trades this morning, with AAPL and BABA. So AAPL and BABA were on my market open watchlist with MU, AMD, ROKU and FDX on my 2-5min ORB watchlist. Yes I am saying the same thing all week about the open: The setup is the same. The daily charts on both AAPL and BABA still looks interesting, maybe on the verge of a break out. I watched AAPL and BABA at the open. I had a small long bias on AAPL since it commonly has a ~60 cent pop at the open when it has some positive movement in the last hour of PM. AAPL opened above all the support levels and I was waiting for the hammer to form. I tried to go long the moment it turned white, but I saw the pop just after I clicked buy. The order delay cost me about 10 cents, but that’s OK. I already assume that slide and already added 10 cents into my stop when I calculated the share size. My target was the 222.39 daily level with the 200MA-1min as my stop. But the R/R ~3 which I know is a bit unrealistic at the open. But I like the strong levels just above my entry to help pull the price up. The price reversed immediately after I took the trade. But for 3 minutes the price held to a really strong support level above the 200MA-1min. Too bad I have a no add rule to my live trades, because that looked like a great ABCD setup. The price finally started to move up and I took very small partials at the first two levels HOPM and the 221.51 daily level. After that I tried just partialing at the 1min highs until I ran out of shares. BABA actually got volume at the open, but a lot of it was one big buy. I liked the first 1min indecision candle with good volume. I liked all the support levels were already below the price. I tried to go long when the 2nd 1min candle broke above the wick of the first candle, but I got a lot of slippage. But again this is OK I already assumed that in my share size calculation and went long with a 50 cent stop, knowing there would be some slippage. So my target was 180.41 daily level with PDC as my stop. My first partial was very small because it was out of nerves. My second partial profit was larger since it reached my first partial profit target. Then I took another small partial because I was losing faith in the trade. Exit was tricky because the price found support just above my B/E. So I want to make sure I don’t miss the bounce from support but I don’t want the price to fly through my B/E (like yesterday) and turn a small win into a losing trade. Looks like I exited OK for a small win. Score card (live trades): AAPL BABA 91% 91% What I did good today: Good score cards What I am grateful from today? Managed two trades at once at the open. What do I need to improve on: Getting better at the partialing, but need to get use to keep partialing as you lose faith in the trade. I seem to always want to take partial profit only on a new high.

9-18-19 up at 7:45 with 4 hours sleep and a bit groggy..... SSS and a coffee........ PAT: Make sure I am taking trades out of the PB or my practice pre 5min......... Still fine tuning my share size depending on the setup grade....... SNAP......... pre 5min.... long on the break up above VWAP......... stopped out below VWAP...... -40.00 CHWY........ 10 min ORB ....... broke VWAP and looking for HOD ..... stopped out a little late and this should have been a smaller loss........ -52.00 ROAD....... 15min ORB....... break of VWAP looking for HOD....... I should have taken profit when it went to 3R but I did not and tried to hold on to HOD..... I need to stick to my plan with partials....... waiting on full targets just dont work for me........ Again stopped out late and again should have been a smaller loss.... -60.00 GIS ......... Over traded with a bit of HULK in my blood..... I believe with the last three trades going against me I was in a bit of a revenge mode and I should have come here to journal instead of looking for setups...... first .......PB#3.... (A setup) Full share size, only because it drops to the 20ma on 1min............. entry on the 1 and 2min drop to the 9ma with no new low on 5 or 15min....... orginal stop was .11 partialed 50% at 4R then added on pullback.... stopped out at - 1R..... I did move my stop when I added and maybe I should have left it be (but this would have made my stop way more than -2R)........... conclusion here is to go back to only add with multiple confirmations......... +48.00 second ...... PB#2.... (B setup) 1/2 share size......... thought it was a reversal back to VWAP got stopped out....... -38.00 third ......... PB#3, continuation (B+ setup) because of the large pullback/shakeout .......took a little smaller than full size...... I believe I got out here with a small loss..... and I am lost because I reentered for a reversal again....... fourth........ PB#2.... (C setup)....... took full share size with revenge in mind, Ashamed of myself for this day........... It did turn out my way but now as look back at my P&L I relize I must have been way over my max loss for the day as I am over max loss now....... Total for GIS -35.75 Cons: I need to get back to my ORB setups with clear confirmation of an ABCD.............. After three loosing trades I need to walk away or journal............ I let my emotions get the best of me and continued to trade after the three....... Pros: respected my stop losses....... Trade for my Playbook: None for the day I am done for the day and completely closing up the market and chat to come back fresh in the AM......... R = 50.00: -187.75

18 Sep 2019 I told myself not to overtrade and only take trades which are considered good RR. I took 2 trades on CHWY - On 5 min chart, I SHORT and thinking it is a WWAP reversal. However it went into consolidation mode and didn't break down to the low of day. So I decided to exit with a small profit. - On 5 min chart again, I LONG this time where I saw it sitting on WWAP. Some goes the 1 and 2 min chart. I could have let it run but really FOMO and I exit the trade and took profit. OSTK - When I saw that all charts are harmonious and staying below WWAP, I wish to SHORT below WWAP on the 2,5,15 min chart (arrow pointed). However it is a missed trade where I keep on pressing the short key but didn't get filled ROKU - When I saw that all charts are harmonious and staying below WWAP, I wish to SHORT below WWAP on the 2, 15 min chart (arrow pointed). However It is a missed trade where I keep on pressing the short key but didn't get filled Overall it is a green day for me and I am happy. However also a bit sad when I didn't manage to get the last 2 trades. Do members here experienced the same issue as me where you tried to for short but didn't get filled?

I'd be interested. I missed the last one due to holidays. lol

Definitely interested as well.

yep!

Van Tharp Institute Peak Performance Course for Traders Vol 3: How to Control Losing Attitudes Chapter 3 A monster chapter. Huge exercises. It took me almost two weeks to finish half the chapter. The course asks for you to start writing a psychological diary. Which should include the following information: 1) What was the trade: Bought/Sold – Opening/Closing 2) Specific info about the trade 3) % of your capital invested 4) Was it on margin 5) What kind of leverage was used. 6) Record the reasons you took the trade 7) What were your thoughts when you opened the trade? Self-talk? Feelings (mental/physical)? 8] What technical factor were there to support your decision? 9) How does the trade fit into your goals for the week/month/year? 10) Are you currently experiencing anything emotional outside of the markets? 11) For opening trades, comment and rate on your expectations. 12) For closing trades comment on how you gained or lost money. Did you follow your system? 13) What was your reaction to the win or loss 14) Why did you make the trade? How did you know it was a good risk? The course asks you to take a DT test. I will not place my answers here, because the evaluation will be in the next chapter. So I will list it there. Then the course asks to lists what money means to you. Then make a list what people commonly tell you about money. Though the discussion of this exercise will be discussed in chapter 8 I have the list I created below: Money Self worth Providing for my family A limiter for my goals Something that removes my focus on the things that matter Something I work for that removes time that I could be spending with my family Security Stress A barrier to the life I wish I had Intrigue Fascination An insight how the world works What other people often tell you about money Defines success Separates the halves from the halve nots Root of all evil It's only money Can never have enough You must have money to make money Don't throw money out the window Then you are asked to take a Values Self-Test. First list 3 things you look for when you buy a car (my list below): 1) Do I like the look of it? 2) Is it the correct size for its intended use? 3) Reliability Then asked to list your three most important goals in life (my list below): 1) Give my family a better life 2) Have a useful life 3) Don’t waste time Then finally asked to list what you would look for in a dog: 1) Is that breed cute 2) Do you like the dog’s personality 3) Is that breed trainable Luckily I didn’t read ahead so I didn’t know how this was scored. But you give all comments that were positive a +1 and negative a -1 and sum them up. Surprisingly I was positive. With that info you will analyze the next 3 exercises differently Next is the start of the first monster exercise. First, you list 10 things that are essential in your life. This was already concerning since after I listed them I saw I clearly did not have most of them. Then you order them in priority. Then for each thing on your list you list 10 things explaining what you value about that essential need. So you end up with 100 words/phrases. Then you prioritize each under each category to have a prioritized list of a 100 values. Then for each of the 100 values you answer, “when do you know you have it and when do you know you don’t.” So you end up with 300 phrases. This took quite a bit of time and that is all I finished in the chapter so far. Next I will work on the 300 phrases of things that are essential to avoid in your life. Then you take the two lists and compare them. Actually that’s when things get interesting. But so far I have only finished the first list, which is below. I hope it looks as time consuming as it was. Value How do you know when you have…? How do you know when you DON'T have…? Family Love Feel alive Void Spending time with them Feel the bond You feel the bond with them slipping Watch them grow Catch the milestones Miss the milestones Happiness Look forward to the day Dread the day Make your child laugh everyday Best sound in the world I can tell there was something missing that day Trust Run to me when they are upset Avoid me Vacations Immediate increase in bond Burn out Reading to kids They look forward to it If you haven't read to them in awhile its awkward Traveling The kids talk about for months afterwards They will ask for it everyday Help kids with homework They are less stressed about school work They are stressed since they feel like they are on their own Adequate Sleep Safety for other drivers Stay alert while driving Risk of falling asleep while driving Safety for my passengers Stay alert while driving Risk of falling asleep while driving Safety for myself Stay alert while driving Risk of falling asleep while driving Memory strength Surprise people with my memory Forgot why I walked into that room Work effectively Stay ahead of the game Seems like there are not enough hours in the day Keep up with the kids They tire first I tire first Don't fall asleep while standing - I hate that I don't dose off during the day Fall asleep anywhere Prevent dizzy spells No dizzy spells Almost faint during the day Strength to exercise more Exercise more than 3 times a week Unable to exercise It would be nice to yawn again. You body turns that off during long extreme periods of sleep deprivation. I haven't yawned in 10 years Yawn like a regular person Forgot what it was like to yawn Money provide for family They go without wanting Cutting expenses Sustenance Pay the bills Loss of basic necessities Better secondary education for my kids Kids happy with their school Not happy, poor scores compared to national level Intrigue Enjoy learning about the financials Not even knowing the Nasdaq current level Need Have the materials to function Don't have the basics, effects work Financial freedom Able to pursue more interesting work Work for a paycheck self-worth Feel good about yourself Feel the stress of not providing as much as you should College fund Staying with the needed savings plan Worried how we will pay for it. Limiting my kids choices Success Created more than enough income Not even following the right path to succeed Fascination with markets Eager to trade in the morning Dread trading Career Livelihood Job more than a paycheck Just a paycheck Life Goals "Never work a day in your life" Job inspires no goals Challenging Creates interest to learn and adapt Robotic Fulfilling Job fills at least one goal Job does not fulfill any goal Responsibility People trust that you will complete the task Checks needed for you Role model for my children You inspire them to do something they love A job is just money Team player No one has to fight for credit Free for all Make use of education PhD = Doctor of Philosophy PhD = Pizza Hut Delivery Part of something big More like a quest Just see the day to day grind Pride Proud to say what you do Refer to yourself generically as an "engineer" Sense of importance Feeling needed People depend on you every day Your not missed Trusted Answers/tasks are accepted without question Always questioning you Valued Fell irreplaceable Easily replaced Missed They feel glad when you returned They had not noticed you were gone for a few days Respected Your opinion matters Your thoughts are not worth anything Self Esteem You simply feel good about yourself You feel like a disappointment Achievement Something recent that you are proud of If you have to go back far in time to your last achievement Make a contribution Feel that others benefit from your help Doesn't matter if you were there or not Knowledgeable They seek out to answer questions Your opinion does not matter Helpful They expect that you will offer help and are grateful Intellect Creative Positive responses for your "new" ideas Rehashing old ideas Continually improve The world opens to you Same old, same old Read Every day (audio books) <4 a week feels like I am no longer reading Learn new Learn something new everyday Can't remember the last thing learned review old Almost always recall useful info Always unable to find useful info not recently learned Increase understanding Instinctively always want to know the "why" Learn enough to finish the project New skills If you are struggling, you are learning something new Everything is too easy Learn Day Trading Improving each month Stagnating Stay with new tech You find yourself teaching other on the new tech You see others using new tech and you have no idea how to use it Keep a good memory Surprise people with my memory Forgot why I walked into that room Exercise De-stressor Tolerance for stress is high Easily set off Hobby Working out is fun Hitting the gym is a chore Keep fit You can feel fit You can feel out of shape Improve sleep Deep sleep more than half the night Light sleeping only Improve mood High tolerance Short fuse The great Outdoors The reason I moved to California What a waste moving to California Time to myself Then like to spend the rest of the day with people Feel claustrophobic Push myself Proud of the workout Felt like I wimped out Time in the sun Good day sunshine Vampire I want to climb Mt. Whitney Ready for Whitney in 2021 Will I ever be ready for Whitney Peace Calm Zen On the edge of a mood swing Mediation The skill is getting easier Not seeing any progress Contentment Living a worthy life Going to die with lots of regrets Quiet Hear the roosters and cows Hear only shouts Time for myself Take the short way home Take the long way home Interim between stressful events Back to norm before the next event Fires keep building on each other Music Listening to my daughter play piano The day just doesn't seem as harmonic Walks Listening to books or bonding with my son The bond with my son seems to drift Pets Unconditional love Like something is missing Sleeping child Nothing more peaceful I miss not seeing them sleeping in the mornings