You're not letting anyone down, everyone in this community knows how difficult the learning curve is. It's a tough enough game as is, no need to put unnecessary blame on yourself. Mike Bellafiore from SMB Capital says that he's maybe seen 1 person in his entire career of training be profitable in their first year. and that's the best of the best training, strategies, psychologists and mentoring so please don't be too hard on yourself. i'm not sure there's anyone in this community that was green their first year, including Andrew. Maybe Carlos and Aiman? It's going to be months of red days then little by little you get more proficient, it's a marathon for sure.
One thing that helped me was the DAS auto stop at -3R per day. I found -2R to be too restrictive but if i have three losers in a row i know i'm not reading the market right and i'd better pack it in and come back fresh the next day.
Hope i'm not intruding or offending. i've been there so i know exactly how you feel. just wanted to provide some encouragement. Keep at it!